Twitter types


I’ve been playing with twitter off and on since it began, under a number of nom de tweets, trying to massage it into a use case that works for me. I’ve come to the conclusion that there are some canonical categories of tweeters:

  • Round Trippers, recognizable since every tweet is a response to someone else, usually someone you don’t know. Thank goodness for the twitter setting that lets you filter out most of this traffic.
  • Naval Gazers, who spend most of their time mentally masturbating, searching the web for references to themselves and publishing links to same. “Oh look everyone, I just found an old story about me!” Known to spend massive sums of money on physical therapy to take care of those neck muscles stretched to the breaking point while trying for a closer look at that belly button.
  • Life Mini-Bloggers, gnawing on their Twitter device or app of choice, incessantly recording every detail as it happens. “I just made dinner!” “My car just hit a tree while I was tweeting about my new web page.”
  • Twitter Haiku Poets, who manage to find that rare, widely-interesting vignette and communicate it, sparsely, making use of Twitter’s intrinsic “I’m here now” ambience. “Busses look odd hanging off an overpass.”

It is this final form of tweeting to which I aspire, training my eye and wit and thumbs to be ready and able should the moment arise.